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More from =divby0

Cairo  Hello, my name is Beijing.
I never really liked the name when I was younger, but when I reached high school and then college, it was nice to not just be another Mary Sue. I never understood why my parents chose an exotic-sounding name, they were certainly not exotic people themselves, just a John and Jane Smith is everything but name. I don't remember my last name anymore, I haven't used it in years.
The doctors here want me to write an account of what happened to me, because even those that saw me "arrive" are too trapped in their rational worlds to see the shadows on the wall.

I was born in this universe and was a precocious dreamer. Th
Beijing I opened my eyes.

The window was still there, as unlikely as it was, beside the one-way, glassed observation room. If it had been a normal window, it would have looked into the observation room, the attached electronics closet, or the hallway beyond both, but it wasn't and as such, it didn't.

I always insisted on a tour around my room before I would settle down in new quarters, and the doctors gave in, believing it affected my neurosis. They kept moving me, hoping that something would be different enough that my behavior would change, but it never did. The simple fact of the matter was that they couldn't see the window; however, that didn't
War Cry You can rip a hole in me
                   but you can't take away my soul.
You can dig furrows in my body
                   but you can't dampen my spirit.
You can murder me from the inside
                   but you can't make me beg for my life.

It's already my life.
ETM you can kick me out of your life;
go on: just brick up those doors.
you can lock your heart away,
but can't take the memories I stored.

I'm not just a sad song with nothing to say,
I'm not sitting and waiting for your approving okay.

I still remember all the touches:
they're never going away.
everyone always forgets my
eidetic tactile memory.

I still remember all the touches,
and not just from you,
from all the others--
the surviving and otherwise too.

I'm not just a sad song with nothing to say,
I'm not sitting and waiting for your approving okay.

you can try to make me feel nothing,
but I live on in my head.
my dreams beco
Just Like Everybody Else you do it the same way, every time:
setting up expectations where I can't deliver.
then you wonder why I get so upset:
you're setting me up for failure!

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Something Broken and Abused

by =divby0

7.
I'd made mistakes to be with you,
promises out the window flew,
hoping the difference to save my soul,
and, once again, I did feel whole.

All you'd asked I did provide,
until I let you too deep inside,
burning bridges until alone,
no garden here, no seeds grown;
I stopped and apart we grew.

Intermission
I'd chosen me and no one more,
shut the blinds and close the door,
hide my eyes until I see
just Her in front of me.

Secondo Fine
Now I wait and watch and wait,
knowing any moment I might break,
losing hold of sense and real
and touching only what I feel,
reaching for a world with you...

my spirit broken, my heart abused.
:icondivby0:
28 Jan 2012

Some of you may remember "Something White, Something Blue." This contains a
revised ending.

For those unaware, this poem contains a complete and truthful history (as
best as can be contained within a structured form) of my relationships,
including the intermissions.
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